9/11/2020 My new chapter as it now unfolds

I try to be a positive person, but losing Lexi has really tested me. Depression has been soaring to Mt Everest levels. On top of it all, I recently got more bad news concerning my spinal condition, my lumbar is as big of a mess as my neck. More big words that I've never heard of, as well as multiple herniated discs, nerve involvement, compression of the spinal cord, Tarlov cyst, a benign tumor, Spondylosis, & signifigant Retrolisthesis. I'm now being told not to lift anything heavy & pay close attention to all of my movements that any shifting could be potentially bad. Definitely not words you want to hear from your doctor. Finding a neurosurgeon able, or willing to help has been a needle in a haystack as well. I am still currently hunting. Between the loss of Lexi & now this, I had lost all hope in life. My wonderful kids & husband are all that gave me any strength to face the day.

After Lexi's passing a trainer friend came across some mix breed pups that were in an abusive home & needed rescued. We took two sisters in & while so extremely sweet & huge cuddle pups with us, they are extremely timid of strangers despite our attempts of socializing. We naturally have gotten so attached that it's going to be so hard to give them up. These pups, Kylie & Sasha will be such great companions for someone, but will not qualify for service dog work.

Knowing full well, but in a last attempt to confirm this, I reached out to another trainer. A local trainer that came highly recommended by many. He confirmed about the pups, & he works closely with a rescue that is willing to take in both pups them, work with them professionally to help lessen their fears of people, & place them in a loving home that will be the best fit. The lady from the rescue has been away on vacation so we will have the pups for at least a few more days to possibly even a couple more weeks. While still in our care I am working hard on working with them with the guidance of the trainer. The only comfort in letting go of these pups is knowing that this rescue will do their utmost best in making sure that both pups are as happy & loved in their new home as they are now. It will still be so hard to say goodbye though. Fostering is never easy when it comes to goodbyes.

When I told this new trainer about Lexi & my need for another service dog, he said he would be willing to help me find the perfect fit & help me train. With the recent declining of my health the extra help training is a god send! While meeting with him, he happened to think that he might already have just the dog for me. The rescue had just brought in a sweet German Shepherd from Texas & she had just arrived at his place! She had been given up due to a positive heartworm test, however it was caught before any severe damage was done to her & she is expected to make a complete, & full recovery. He brought her out & she immediately ran up wagging her tail & giving us kisses.

This trainer checked with the lady from the rescue & was told that she had someone already interested, but nothing final yet so there was still a chance of me getting her, but not a guarantee. I have been holding my breath in hopes that she is the one, but at the same time afraid to get my hopes up. My heart just can't take any more pain right now. I'm so nervous & worried! My husband keeps reminding me to be positive & to have faith. I have so much riding on this though as I truly need a service dog & she seems like such a perfect fit. I even pretended to faint to see what she would do & she placed 100% of her attention on me, checking to see if I was okay.